Pretty Fairy Princess Enchanted Castle

I Got a Contract in the Mail

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:49:40 GMT

Which makes it official. I'm working freelance on a White Wolf book. The money is good, the exposure is fun. The people are wonderful so far. The material is likely to be wonderful. Who knows what else will follow if I work my butt off on this job. That said, I'm going to go away now and get back to working on said project.

I'll be posting another paying market acceptance that I heard back a day after hearing from White Wolf once I get more details about it.

Behold The Mini-Psudo-Disscussion Panel

Fri, 02 May 2008 15:26:48 GMT

Also at my website.

I just got a nice chunk of submissions to various and sundry contests and anthologies. With a second to breath, I thought I'd share with you a heck of a conversation I had.

I love the internet and its potential for spontaneous discussion and random pseudo-interviews. Here's the set up. Earlier in the day I had this conversation I had read THIS agents blog. A quote in it stuck with me.

"The type of writing a query requires is so far removed from the kind of writing a fiction writer does that, to me, it’s the equivalent of a dancer going to audition for the role of The Sugar Plum Fairy, and being made to stand perfectly still and DESCRIBE her movements, rather than simply being allowed to dance. Unless that dancer, then, is also a singer and has a way with words, that dancer may the most incredible Sugar Plum Fairy that troop will ever see, but the dance company will never know this." - Sandra Kring

So, I put it up in my G-Chat message. (That's THIS thing if you don't know.)

A few minutes after I posted the thought for all the internet to read I got a message from my friend The Man From Free Planet X.

Jared said to me: "Do you believe that? The ballerina metaphor, I mean?"

A answered: "I know queries make me want to cry." and then "The idea of using 200 words to prove to a stranger that my 89,000 words are good enough is jarring."

"Look at it this way," Jared said. "In a bookstore, you have only, what? A 7 word sentence to do the same thing? 200 words is a luxury."

I didn't find that much comfort, and told Jared that. He laid it back out for me like this: "It's like brick-laying. As a bricklayer, you're going to have to learn how to smooth out the mortar after to you place the bricks. Does this, matter, really? Does this make the wall any less stable? Or more? Not really. But it's a skill you need to have in order to get more people to hire you bricklay."

A little bit later in internet time, he came back with: "Which is why I feel like the ballerina metaphor misses the point It might be better if, before the ballerina auditioned, the director said "Wait. Let's see if you fit in the costume first."

That resonated a great deal and I'm really rather grateful for his opinion on the matter. Thanks Jared.

(Oh, and about five minutes later, Jared said, "That said query letters are horrible.")

At the Risk of Sounding Like a Screaming Girl.....

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:12:50 GMT

ZOMG!

I have been published in my first print mag!

You can pick up your copy over at Mouth Full of Bullets.

Thank you, Mr. Borg for including my Jack Doe short story "The Baked Bank Job."

Damn You Super Smash Brothers Brawl!!!!

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:58:51 GMT

....Must... Resist... Urge... To Write.... FanFiction... Coupling... Solid Snake and.... Samus!!!

That is all, go on about your business like this never happened.

How Pulpwood Can Teach You to Write!

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 03:41:37 GMT

This is also up on my writing blog at my website.

If you know me in person, you've heard me say before that I enjoy the maxim by Raymond Chandler.

“When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.”

You laugh, I laugh, but the truth is, it makes a hell of a lot of sense. At it's most basic and direct translation, Chandler just means that in the rough and tumble world of hard-boiled detecting, there's always one more gun-totting goon more than willing to speed your plot along with a .44 and a foreboding entrance.

Did Chandler intend any deeper wisdom? Any wider concept in that simple statement?

Hell if I know, and yet, I still see the wider reason there. Let's look at a few examples of that concept that popped into my head at three in the morning last night when I should have been sleeping.

So let's say you're writing a science fiction, maybe some kind of great big beautiful space opera full of characters -way- cooler than Lucas.*

Let's say you've just described (in thirty pages no less) what the intake of the engine looks like and how it is the ship is powered for interplanetary travel. Also, there's a three page essay on toilets in space.

Even your characters seem a little bored waiting around for something to happen.

Try having an enemy space pirate ship show up and threaten to “blow them out of the sky!”

Why, ~~because pirates are cool.~~ I mean, because action is what makes pages turn. Dry data and technical speculation is really one of the cool parts about hard science fiction on a grand scale, however, if you really want to get the reader to the part of the story where you discuss the ships air recycling system, you might consider throwing in ~~pirates~~ action in order to get them jazzed about reading on.

Don't do Scifi? No problem.

Let's say that you write Fantasy. More than that, you're writing the next great Epic Fantasy Novel. Tolkeen can eat your shorts by the time you churn out all 300 thousand words of this baby.

The first half of the book is written, and you've described the millennia of historically important points. You've written three complete languages-- including two dialects of your gnomish language because your beer gnomes speak with a drunken slur. You've established the political climate and described in long flowery detail how each of the worlds nations could at any point fall into war with each other.

So what's next? Well, why don't you take that farm boy who doesn't know he's 'the one' who will fulfill some ancient prophecy and have him shot full of crossbow bolts on his way home from the market. I'm not saying you -have- to kill him, but I'm saying nearly killing him might sure as heck change the scope of your story and give your readers something to sit up and take notice of. A 'the one' full of bolt holes who can't fulfill his destiny and has to pass it along to the fat pig farmer next door would certainly put a lot of epic fantasy on its ear.

Another example.

Let's say you're writing paranormal romance. (Why not, there's a market for it.) So let's say you've just had three pages of hawt smexy vampire on vampire hunter luvin and now that you feel the need to shower off and maybe pop into a confessional, something has to happen....

I know! Have one of the other vampire hunters burst through the door with a flame thrower in his hand and turn Lestat into so much dust buster fodder.

Why? Besides the fact that it's funny? It's unexpected. In the romance industry, you here over and over again people berate the genre for being formulaic and repetitive. So do something WAY outside the box, like lead your readers on with hawt vampire luvins only to destroy your vampire and -really- put your heroin into a new and exciting world of revenge and luvin.

Okay, right, genre writing is for the illiterate and people who drool on themselves?**

No problem, Chandler's line works even in the literal literary world. Take a piece of good old fashioned contemporary literature.

Let's say your angsty but thoughtful hero is at work (he works at a coffee shop, of course, while he's trying to get his writing off of the ground.) Let's say for this example that you've spent the last ten pages with him thinking about his quirky family, bad childhood, and disastrous break up. From here, you could have him decide that the world is a lie and that ultimately all things fall into nothing....

Or you could have someone walk into the cafe with a gun, rob the place, and shoot a co-ed while your hero is all but powerless to stop it.

Why? Because that's real life. It makes things happen, and it's a real honest to God tragedy that will really give your hero something to wax eloquent about for days at a time!

Action is good, it stretches all your thinking muscles and it gets the pages turning. When things happen in a book, things happen, and that's what makes a story a story and not just, say, a three hundred page blog entry.

*Not a comment on my opinion about Lucas, just an example.

**Not my opinion, forgive the hyperbole.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Mmmm.. Female Pigtatude!

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:43:21 GMT

So, I was exploring the world of mental-unhealth as made possible to me by the WORLD OF THE INTERNETS! and I came across this little piece of nuts.

Of course the Scienctologists don't want you to see this!

What it is, in a nutshell (heh), is Tom Cruise talking about being a Scientologist and how great it is! I think it's supposedly some kind of indoctrination video. I DARE you to diagram a single sentence he says. Double Dog Dare you.

So, Tom Cruise is in a cult, that's not really my point. I'm not going to lie to you, I find Tom Cruise to be very very attractive. I don't know why, but I'm not alone as there are several million (and men) who's panties get wet when he makes out with Brad Pitt (there goes another pair!) I'm not going to lie to say that I would, given half the chance, ride his tiny little body raw and send him away wet --cash on dresser, gotta pay him fast to make sure he doesn't do something gross like.. say... try to talk to me.

So, my husband shows me this indoctrination video with Tom rambling like a lunatic. Honestly, I didn't hear a word he said half the time. Why? Because while he was spewing crazy about SPs and self KPTs and BDS or what ever, I was just staring at his pretty mouth and thinking about the things I'd do to his face if I could.

Is this what it's like to be a 'typical man' when a girl is telling a long pointless story? Am I, in fact, a female pig? 'Cause if I am, that's awesome!

(P.S. I shared this thought with my husband, he laughed. He said something afterwards, but I don't remember what, I was thinking about his butt.)

Big Pulp

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:51:13 GMT

Mmm.. The Huzbun got my laptop up and running again, so today I could do more market research. I love that crap. Duotrope, you is my favorite.

I came across an neat looking fledgling market I thought I'd share.

Big Pulp

I mention it since it might be of interest to a number of my friends out there.

zephrin, my other writer friends out there, they pay up to 25$ for fiction.

blackwell, szeret21, they're looking for photography. I couldn't find the pay rate, but I'm sure they pay.

planetx, they're looking for comics!

So, here, I'm making more competition for myself! Submit 'em if you got 'em!!

I'm ready for my close up, Mr.....

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 07:33:02 GMT

...Okay, so I'm not really famous yet, but my short story "Mars Ain't No Place for Ladies" did get blogged about here.

That's a step in the right direction, I imagine.

Plus, the 'zine that it was published on was nominated for the Predators and Editors Reader's Choice Award for 2007, from the editor. If haven't yet voted with P&E for your favorite 'Zine, you should go vote for Spacewesterns.com. Seriously. Nathan Lilly is a good guy and the 'zine is something fun!

Mars Ain't No Place for Ladies is up for reading!

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 01:58:35 GMT

Click me! Click me!!!

I think the editor, Nathan Lilly, did the art there for me. It's really beautiful and I didn't even know he was doing it.

Not for the Squimish

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:31:23 GMT

I just had the best sex in my entire life. No kidding. The best sex.

Anyone who tells you there's no such thing as life after death, I can't help you,

If anyone tells you there's no such thing as sex after marriage, I can personally tell them to fuck off.

That is all.

News, and a Thank You

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 06:59:20 GMT

So, in case you didn't catch my husband's almost brutal show of support, my short story "Mars' Ain't No Place for Ladies" will be up at Space Westerns next Sunday.

While you're there checking it out, you might notice zephrin short story is the latest update available. Glad I could point you to a paying gig, and congrats!!

In other news, I got another short story accepted by the nice gentleman over at Mouth Full of Bullets . They are full up till Spring of 2009, but still not a bad place to throw a submission. I heard back the same day I submitted, which I'm pretty sure was record time and a fluke.

I wanted to thank blackwell, your advice about contracts was spot on, and I know I'll be getting paid as a result.

Also, Tina will be a year old on the 9th of next month. I have no idea what to do about that, I mean, aside from celebrate like it's 1999.

I'm having a little success, and with each bit of good news, I'm praying for all the people I know, I'm wishing that what ever good is resting on my shoulders and giving me these little bits of accomplishment can be shared with everyone I know and care about. The fact is, for good or bad, I know that who I am today is a result of who I have known and do know. I know that everything I do is a manifestation of the experince I have had, and so therefore, the interactions with people I have had the joy (however dubious) to know.

So, everyone out there in interweb world, whether I talk to you every day, or haven't said a word in years, thank you. Thank you for brushing my life and if only I could literally share what ever success I have with you.

...Step One, Underpants!

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 06:25:09 GMT

So, the first real hard edits of THE BEAST are done. I'm handing it around for some polish opinions while I dust up my query letter writing skizills and hunting for agents who won't hate me too much.

Is it silly to take pictures of a manuscript? Yes, but I did it anyway. Ha ha ha.

Right, Back to Life

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 10:25:55 GMT

I can get back to life as somewhat usual. More later!

Also, Mae is a wonderful doll, and thanks to her beautiful review I've sold at least one extra copy of my book. Everyone send her love and cookies and of course market listings for her to submit stories to.

Again, more later.

Pratchett fans, wet your pants with me!

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:21:53 GMT

So, some times I'm a fangirl, and right now, I'm a fangirl to an old british guy who makes fun of fantasy.

So when I came across one of the radio drama communities I belong to saying this:

"And so, ARTC begins its second year of bringing you the archives of our live performances via podcast. For our fifty-third episode we have something really special in mind. Presented with permission from the author: our radio adaptation of Terry Pratchett's "Guards! Guards!" With special guest voice, John Rhys-Davies. This will be presented in three installments.

'Nuff said."

Well, as my husband would say, I about shit my pants!
Josie, Kay, I'm looking at you two specifically. Here. Go here.oldtimeradio

I haven't listened to it yet... I wonder if David will take the baby out so I can sit and listen and laugh without being to embearessed. (David doesn't really get humor that doesn't involve ovens or hitting people with things...)

I think I'm going to go lay down and weep for joy. For real.

I HATE the End

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:00:08 GMT

I hate ending stories. Short stories, novels, it doesn't matter. I hate ending stories and I think that's mostly because I -know- my endings are never as strong as my beginnings, and I hate that about my writing.

So I heard something neat about problems with your writing. Find writers who do it better, and then read them until you figure out what you're doing wrong and what they're doing right.

What's your favorite author in terms of endings? Books? Who writes killer awesome super cool endings that are so perfect you read the book again and again for the ending?! At this point, genre and style don't matter. The more varied the better, really.

Sort of Progress Report

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 16:32:29 GMT

My piece, "Mar's Ain't No Place for Ladies" is in talks with the editor of this site. The editor seems like a great guy, and he seemed to like it, so I'm excited.

I would actually recommend you take a look at the site for some quick fun reads. I've only read a few stories, and they were just that- fun.

David told me he'd buy me a laptop when I got my first story published in a paying market. Of course, just because the editor told me he'd publish the story is not the same thing as actually being published, so I guess I shouldn't put my cart before my wagon.

Still... I can already picture me sitting on my lawn with my lap top while Tina plays in the yard and eats bugs.... It's a lovely picture really.

So if you know a good place to get a cheap laptop, let me know!

So It Begins

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 20:42:13 GMT

I'm up and I'm getting started. I'm tracking my progress and hocking my goods and you should take a gander.

My Site with lots of information or you can go right to the source, take a look, and if your so inclined, buy a book or PDF.

Tell your friends. Later, maybe today, I'm going to put up a few links to some 'zines and the what that are looking for submissions.

After Some Serious Consideration

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 16:55:03 GMT

You know, for a while I've been giving thought to alternative ways to reach and create an audience. While I feel that standard publishing is always an option, more and more it seems like it isn't the ONLY option to my ultimate goal, having my book in someones hand being read and enjoyed.

So I'm sitting on one completed pulp novel, and one finishing 'other' novel. So I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and do an experiment. I'm going to self publish my pulp novel and sell the thing through the Internets and what ever other grass roots endeavor I can pull off. Ultimately, the goal is to make a little big of money and get the book to people who will love it.

So, I'll have it available to buy for a pretty affordable rate rather soon. I'd like to redo the cover art and maybe get some stuff together for fliers and posters to stick up places as a part of a 'guerrilla marketing' campaign I'm setting up, to that end,

Mae, if you have any time in the next week or two, I'd really love to pay you (a little bit) for some photos.

I'm also looking for some models. A girl with a nice figure that can pull off the 'librarian-hot' look, and a big guy who can ware a trench coat. (I know, such a challenge.) and maybe another guy who can look shifty and pulp-bad-guyish.

So, I'd love to hear your thoughts or interest.

I have too much time on my hands.

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 17:55:30 GMT

If you haven't seen it already, go look at (and friend) thetinytina.

Yes, she's that cute.

Yeah, so....

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:12:01 GMT

http://www.fireflyseason2.com/

No, seriously, stop what your doing. Firefly, Season 2.

No, I'm not kidding. Go and look and DO! DOOO!

For serious, Josie, I'm looking at you.

Where's my money, damnit?

Wed, 23 May 2007 20:12:58 GMT

My blog is worth $1,129.08.
How much is your blog worth?

In other news, We're buying a house. Closing is July 27th, that weekend, I expect hundreds of thousands of people to appear with alchohol food and gifts. (Or you know, five dollar Home Depot gift cards.) I believe my husband has already arranged for Josie to cruise direct for the situation, or something. I don't know, I was asleep when he told me. We have lots of conversations when I'm asleep.

I like circle.

In Other News...

Wed, 09 May 2007 15:53:32 GMT

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1574851,00.html

Kay... That's terrifying.

Home

Wed, 09 May 2007 03:07:28 GMT

..So this whole 'searching for a home' is actually a lot suckier than I had hopped. I had images of skipping happily through other peoples places until, like rays from the heavens, the perfect place would appear on the horizon waiting for us like a warm hug.

Practical reality is never like that.

Reality sucks.

We found this beautiful victorian, but apparently its in a shitty area which is why we could afford it. Okay, moving on.

We found a really lovely twin with all the upgradeish type stuff we'd want, but the lady whos selling it is apparently a nut and our broker thinks we should skip it.

I know it isn't supposed to be -easy-, but I had at least hoped it would happen faster than this. *Sigh*

Slight Update!

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 15:11:45 GMT

For the sake of my poor parents sanity, and a weekend student my father forgot about, we're relocating the Game Social to the sweet home of the sweeter Amanda.

Saturday, 4/14/07 at 174 North Carol Blvd., Upper Darby, PA 19082. 6:30pm. If you can't google it for what ever reason and need directions, let me know. We need lots and lots of people to attend so that we can really get this game started with a BANG at the end of the month. Snacks/drinks/napkins are appriciated and be considered bribes to the ST. *grin*

Also, did I mention there will be baby?

If you can, please RSVP here or in email so that I have an idea of who's coming. Bring friends!

Social Likeness. A Party, Only Dorkier

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:46:08 GMT

Hello! Social!

We'll be holding a little get-together, chapter meeting, and game planning session at our place, 118 Ash Rd Wallingford PA 19086. This will be at about 6:30 on Saturday the 14th. If you have any questions or anything of the sort, David's cellphone number is (614)312-4055. If you know anyone who might want to come, let them know.

We can give prestige for people who bring food, drink, and disposable implements for eating said items.

(As an aside, it's also a great chance to meet the baby and the husband, if you're curious.)